initial visit to St. Christopher's

anxiety is a feeling that I am well acquainted with. i knew that the day was going to be somewhat overwhelming, but the fact that when we arrived we were thrown straight into meeting the patients was something i wasn't equipped for. As somebody who is mostly embarrassed and shy and, well, crippled by awkwardness, it only got worse when i realised that we were going to have to interact with these people and discuss things that are important to us.

when we met Jerry, our group leader, my fears were somewhat quashed. Though his choice of activities could easily be seen as intense, it was also easy to give an answer that was not so serious, plaintive. i found it very hard to talk so openly in front of the group, but the patient's openness compelled me to at least try. They were incredibly accommodating, though some were reluctant to participate or comply as much as others — but that was fine, because they interjected with jokes to lighten the mood. In particular, one patient seemed fragile, his pithy reaction to his son leaving home was incredibly moving, and was the moment I was most affected by.
Eventually the discussion felt slightly comforting, but i still found it overwhelming.

It was vivid, truly. i feel apprehension for my next visit but I'm sure it'll be okay. It's just weird, being thrown into a scenario in which two people of either end of their experiences are made to converse and reveal parts of themselves to one another. Daunting.

Our first visit to St Christopher's

When we first walked into the hospice it didnt look like a hospital or a home. It looked like a homley community. We went to the provilion at in the garden of the hospice with 8 patients while we introduced eachother and got to know eachother. The community worker Jerry then told us a bit about his self and how he trained as a music therapist. He then spoke a little bit about how the hospice works and the history of it so we had a better understanding and back ground of it. I was very nervous to meet the pateints but once everyone got talking it was fine. After meeting the patients and seeing the inspiring place i feel excited for the next workshop on the 10th of june.

First day at St Christopher's Hospice

As i turned up to the hospice late, i joined the group discussion half way through. I felt immediately on the spot as i had to introduce myself as i had missed the first introductions. After that we went round in a circle on our feelings on change. I felt like i didn't want to say anything that was depressing or whiney so i wanted to say optimistic things, i was really surprised at how open the patients were with us. They were really up front about their life and their illness.

I spoke to a patient, dorothy, for a while in the group discussion. I thought she was really lovely and she enjoyed talking about her family and her life. I found it really funny that she spoke about her daughter in law and said i looked a lot like her so she would bring in pictures the next time we come. I really thought that was really sweet of her and it made me laugh when she asked if i was chinese as people often assume I'm Asian.

As many patients were lovely and funny, there was one that made me feel really uncomfortable. A patient called steve was sitting next to me, when he spoke about a change in his life he started to cry. He said about how his son first left home and how he felt lonely. I didn't know how to react to his crying, whether to pat his arm or to just sit there. It made me feel really tearful and made me thought how emotional how some of the patients must feel despite their optimistic attitudes.

I'm glad i did go as it has given me a better insight on what to expect and how i should go about things. At first i was reluctant to do this project but i think I'm really going to enjoy it.

 Mia

First day at the St Christopher's Hospice

The patients seemed reluctant to communicate with us at first, mixed reactions from the group made me feel very anxious as I sat down in the art room. It was a pleasant area, with good resources and a friendly atmosphere. The man who lead the group discussion was very welcoming and had a very encouraging approach to teaching, taking into consideration how challenging his job must be. We began by introducing ourselves to the group and some ice breaker exercises. Our  first meeting was extremely intense, which I did not anticipate. Steve, one of the patients spoke about when his eldest son left home which left him feeling alone. I found this incredibly upsetting, I didn’t anticipate to be told something so personal on our first visit. He was so open, as were the other patients. The visit made me appreciate my adolescence,  death seemed more real than ever.  I’m looking forward to the next visit, although I am very apprehensive.

start of the project

We've had the introductions to community art and I'm just about to start the off site work. I was thinking yesterday, about how worried i was about meeting the patients at St. Christopher's. Will they want to talk to me? i wonder if their families or loved ones put them there against their will. i wonder what it's like being surrounded by people who know they're gonna die. i wonder if they're angry at the situation they've been forced to adapt to. Or maybe it's just a state of numb acceptance.

i suppose when you've been given a synthetic time limit and you find yourself reminiscing about "the good old days"- your life seems relatively meaningful, ironically that's what people spend their entire life trying to define. And only on the edge of death does it all seem to make sense.

Intial feelings amongst the group

Intially we all felt very anxious to meet the patients, unaware of what to expect, common worries ran throughout the group. We all felt concerned in regards as to how we were going to connect with the patients. They were all older then us and carried greater life experience causing us to want to make a point of avoding any patronisation towards the patients and treating them with the utmost respect. Another concern of ours was communication and how we were going to communicate with them, on both a professional and personal level. The bond we would make with these patients was also worrying; for example, if one of the patients was to pass away, it would be difficult to deal with. Before participating in this project all of us were very aware of the fact that it  would be an extreme emotional challenge. Other concerns of our included punctuallity, organisation and our final outcome.

Monday's Lesson: Flash Photography

On monday we had a workshop on basic Flash photography. We started out with a ball and a line and dragged layer 1 up to 30 (this was the line) and on layer 2 (the ball) this would make the line always remain there throughout the animation and allow the ball to 'bounce'. We created key frames about 11 spaces per key frame and moved the ball where we wanted it to be. We then added a 'motion tween' next to it which made the ball move. for example we could put the ball up then down and then up again using 3 motion tweens so it would appear like it was bouncing.

The next thing we did was chose a portrait image that we found or of ourselves that we wanted to animate and we outlined it using flash. We then coloured it too to make a full cartoon image. We then created one motion tween where we moved or changed something so that when it would play it would return to the original state before the tween which was a simple animation for example in my animation in the motion tween i added i moved the whole eyebrow upwards so when it played fully the eyebrow would be normal then go up (motion tween) then down again. I think this workshop was very useful for going futher in this project with animation and I think it would be a fun concept to perhaps have some kind of story book or virtual story book featuring the story surrounding the peoples chosen object and a cartoon version of themselves.

Sakile Stephen

Tuesdays lesson:

where we did our first workshop and learnt how to involve our personal objects into animations. Starting with groups of three and twos where we covered paper on each table and we set up the camera pointing downwards seeing a birds eye view of the objects. We drew a line around the object and positioned those objects differently. To symbolize its history in travel and personal stories. When doing that we drew onto the papers copying the object we brought and writing its signification. Its story and how we got it and what the atmosphere was like when receiving it . Writing all this information on to the sheet sharing it with the group. Then moving on to the lesson with another partner where we would both tell a story of our object and how we got it. While one person tells that story the other draws onto that paper as the story goes along.
We also took photos of ourselves in those objects. With the next part of that lesson we took an object that Harry brought and with a partner made up a story behind that object. Like the previous project we did the same thing telling the story and the other would draw it out but be blind folded and see the surprise at the end of how it all looks like. As a first workshop i think it came out well, helping to know stories behind other peoples object and learning how imaginations work like for others.

Alice Roudenko

Introduction to our project

We are aiming to create an art piece driven through communication and dialogue with the patients at St Christopher's Hospice. The work will be a collaboration of ideas and process, working towards an outcome that can be defined by "Traces."
By use of animation, photographic processes and installation, we will explore through objects and memories - illustration of narratives and storytelling will be at the centre of the project.

Hopefully, the work will be insightful, inspiring, personal, and portray a fragment of our partner's life accurately.